


if Forever was the Way

by Oaklin



Series: Forever Everything [43]
Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Kayfabe Compliant, M/M, Swearing, but then sort of making up?, in the most complicated way possible, ish, obligatory Kevin Steen warning, somewhat more healthy coping mechanisms, stealth agst, stealth apologies, stealth floof, stealth romace, stupid boys being stubborn and dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-12 18:33:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10497042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oaklin/pseuds/Oaklin
Summary: When it burns, at least he knows that he is alive.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello o/
> 
> Okay, so it being April Fools, I should probably have some sort of clever gotcha or something planned. The problem with that, is that I am spectacularly un-fun when it comes to holidays and surprises. So, no fun April Fools shenanigans from me, I'm sorry to say. Just your weekly does of unnecessarily melodramatic baby wrestlers being their endearing little selves.
> 
> Now that that is out of the way, I don't really have any warnings for this fic. This is pure, unnecessarily tooth rotting fluff. Well, I guess the beginning isn't, unless you are like me, and find their stuttering, bashful belligerence to be cute as fuck ^.^

“What do **you** want.”

A hand comes up, ruffling curly copper hair, as a self deprecating smile curls across those lips. Kevin swears if he squints hard enough, he can see the slight trembles in said hand, and the wariness in those eyes.

(then **leave** )

(if you _don’t_ -)

“I just wanted to- Can I come in please?” Sami mumbles, glancing down at the scuffed concrete before taking what Kevin assumes is a bracing breath and locking eyes with Kevin again.

- _careful what you **wish** for_ -

“Why?”

(seriously?)

Kevin could kick his own ass sometimes.

- _fucking idiot_ -

( ** _he_ ** is-)

- _ **he** **wants** and here your stupid ass is **denying**_ -

No.

“Kevin, please.”

And oh, there it is.

Those magic words, in more ways than one.

Fuck.

Sami slips past him, their arms brushing together as he moves into the crack in the doorway Kevin opened for him.

(just for **_him?_** )

- _only for **him**_ -

(shut the fuck up)

Kevin resists the urge to turn around and watch Sami fidget in the middle of his room. Instead, he chooses to stand stock still in the middle of the doorway, biting his lip and heatedly glaring at the sun shafts filtering through the open door.

He vaguely wonders why he opened it.

Why he _ever_ opens it.

Why he would open it for-

- _we **literally** just went over this_ -

(not an **_answer_** )

- _not the answer you **want**_ -

- _doesn't mean it isn't **true**_ -

The door shakes the wall as it slams home, the window rattling in it’s sill. Kevin inhales harshly, reaching up to scrape his palm over the back of his neck, trying to rub the prickling sensation off his skin.

It doesn’t go away though, and he can practically **feel** Sami’s big fucking puppy-dog eyes burning huge, **_searing_ ** marks into the back of his head.

shit.

“Kevin, I just-”

“Why the fuck are you here?” Kevin cuts across Sami’s stammering, whipping around to meet those eyes, hot anger bubbling up from the depths of his subconscious.

- _melodramatic_ -

“I-” Sami starts, twisting his fingers together and shifting from one foot to the other, staring at Kevin with soulful, pleading eyes that Kevin _swears_ can see right through him, and every _**lie** _ he has ever told.

“Stop fucking babbling and just tell me what the fuck you want so you can get the fuck out of my room already, jesus christ you are a pain in my ass.”

- _if you would **shut up** and let him get a word in_ -

“I would tell you if you would let me speak!” Sami huffs loudly, stamping his foot, an exasperated look gracing his features.

- _see?_ -

(... shut up)

Sami rolls his eyes as Kevin crosses his arms, exaggeratedly leaning back and raising an expectant eyebrow, waiting with _bated breath_ for Sami to disclose the reason for this visit.

Kevin squints, tapping his foot, as Sami transparently stalls for time. Kevin watches as Sami goes from annoyed at Kevin interrupting him, back to the timid man who first entered Kevin’s room, shifting from one foot to the other and glancing around the room with the look of a hunted rabbit.

Still though, after a few long, tense heartbeats, Sami draws in a loud, shaky breath before moving forward. Kevin uncrosses his arms, shifting back wards before he has even really registered that his body is moving.

A **wariness** that is entirely unwarranted floods Kevin’s system, something akin to **_panic_** clouding his mind as Sami closes the distance between them, **_his body_** shifting _closer_ to **Kevin’s** and-

(bad)

- _coward_ -

( _bad_ )

- _ **he** is right in front of you just_ -

(no. the light **burns** )

- _it is fucking **supposed** to, you ate up dumbfuck_ -

“Kevin?”

Kevin snaps his head back and forth feeling like he has just broken the surface after a long dive. He rolls his neck, snapping his jaws and lets the slightly painful sound of his joints cracking ground him back into the waking world. He glances up, huffing slightly at Sami.

The **_idiot_ ** is standing there-

(far **_too close_** for **_his_ ** own fucking _**good**_ )

-looking at Kevin with deep concern, his hand outstretched like he means to _touch_ Kevin, or **something**.

- _ah yes, two human beings **touching** each other_ -

- _what a **ridiculous** notion_ -

- _don't know why the most touchy-feelie bitch you know would want to, you know, **touch** someone_ -

(he can go make out with Beef if he wants to **_touch_ ** someone)

(but _this_ )

( **not safe** )

- _mine_ -

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- I don’t-” Sami stutters, drawing his hand back slightly, and it strikes Kevin that Sami is either a mind reader, or he has just changed his mind about coming over here in the first place. Which wouldn’t be too surprising, what with Kevin’s reaction to his arrival being to spaz the fuck out.

But still, a thrill of something that seems to slice through Kevin like a serrated saw blade cuts into his chest, taking the breath right out of him.

( **no** , _wait_ )

( ** _don’t_** )

(didn’t **mea** -)

fuck

Kevin reaches out, snatching Sami’s outstretched hand up, jerking the other wrestler forward with far too much force, slamming them both together like a pair of mismatched puzzle pieces. Sami stiffens briefly, and Kevin gets lost in the way Sami’s fingers seem alight with warmth, even in such a cold, unwelcoming place.

(with a cold, unwelcoming person)

- _idiot_ -

“Don’t. Stay.” Kevin blurts, the words sliding out of his mouth in a rushed, hoarse haze, his voice rough and-

- _desperate?_ -

(fuck you)

Sami turns in his grip, a quizzical look crossing his face as he practically _cuddles_ up against Kevin’s chest, the warmth from his hand spreading across Kevin’s whole body until he is sure he is about to spontaneously combust.

Sami smiles, a _real_ , true **_Sami smile_** , the one that lights up **_his_ ** whole face and hurts Kevin's very being to **look** at. Trying to catch his suddenly tanked breath in the glow of Sami’s **_belligerent resplendence_** , Kevin barely has the wherewithal to react when Sami squeezes his fingers, turning **_his hand_** and _lacing_ their digits together.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

(lies)

Kevin doesn’t say anything-

- ** _can't_** -

-instead just drawing in a lung full of sunlight before leaning backward and taking a few steps away from the illumination.

Sami opens his mouth, a sorrowful look jumping to his face, but before he can start babbling about whatever stupid, cheesy shit is on his mind, Kevin tugs on the fingers that are still laced with his own. He watches, a smile curling onto the corner of his lips before he has time to check himself, as Sami stumbles forward, tripping over his own uncoordinated feet and staggering towards Kevin once more.

It is tempting, to keep tugging until he has an armful of resplendent moron again, but the thought is all at once - _too much_ \- and not nearly - ** _enough_** -, so Kevin just turns, dragging Sami’s stuttering, stumbling form after him.

He drops the idiot down in the tiny armchair squished into the two feet of window space, ignoring the stilted, confused spluttering. Sami just stares at him when they reach the chair, like he has never seen a seat before. Kevin rolls his eyes, letting out a long suffering sigh before placing a palm against **_that chest_** , very briefly caressing the flesh and blood embodiment of _sunlight_ , staggering out of the momentary trance the feel of that rapid heart beat locks him into.

Shaking off the almost spiritual experience-

(seriously?)

- ** _angels_** -

-Kevin presses his hand into the sternum of the **sunbeam** that has invaded his room. Sami practically falls down into the chair, looking at Kevin searchingly, as if them staring at each other is going to solve anything, or like Kevin could ever hold the answers to _any_ of Sami’s questions.

- _if only_ -

Kevin turns away, heading back to the bedside table, snatching up the remote and flopping lazily down on the bed. Throwing an arm behind his head, he starts idly flicking through the meager selection of channels, ignoring the rather irate voice blaring through his head.

- ** _you couldn't just fucking drop him onto the bed_** -

“If your going to camp out in my fucking room instead of your own goddamn apartment, then I at least demand to be comfortable while you take up space in my motel room and breath my air.” Kevin supplies in response to the baffled looks he is getting, not looking over to the window at all as he speaks.

“I missed you.”

The words are blurted out, tumbling out the ginger jackasses’ mouth, like he came here to say those very syllables. Kevin pauses, mid channel change, the remote hovering in the air, his fingers clamping around it in a death grip he knows will break it if he doesn’t let up soon. He listens to the cheap plastic complain about the rough treatment for a moment, but it abruptly feels too much like - **before** \- so he closes his eyes and deliberately, with some effort, relaxes his grip.

“Did you come all the way over here just to-”

“No,” Sami fidgets under the askance look Kevin shoots him, twisting the sleeve of his jacket-

(which looks an awful-fucking- **lot** like the sleeve of the one ratty jacket that Kevin remembers Beef slouching around in)

- _better fucking **not** be_ -

(fuck)

-in his hands, “Maybe.”

Kevin sighs, long and loud, dropping the remote and rubbing his palms across his face, a mixture of exasperation and something _warm_ that vaguely feel like a much gentler version of Sami’s **burning light** welling up in his chest.

“We just saw each other,” Kevin deadpans, keeping his voice as level as he can, ignoring the way his fingers shake as he takes up the remote again.

Kevin doesn’t specify **what** they were doing when they last saw each other. He doesn’t feel like it needs to be said, or brought up in this instance, at all.

For any reason.

Ever.

(shit)

“Yeah,” Sami agrees, nodding his head like his own thought process and subsequent conclusion made any goddamn sense.

Kevin tosses the remote down to the foot of the bed, releasing the plastic distraction once more in his infinite annoyance. Cracking his head back wards against the unforgiving, splintered headboard, he lets out and exasperated groan.

“You are such a _fucking_ -”

“I **miss you** , when we aren’t with each other. Even if it is just for short periods of time.”

The words tumble out of Sami's mouth like they are the product of apprehension, though there is little fear or panic in his voice. Kevin snaps his head up off the head board to shoot a scathing glare Sami’s way, but he is met with stubborn, unapologetic determination.

Kevin drops his eyes, feeling all the anger bubble down under the surface, his primary emotion becoming something hard to place, though it feels just as _warm_ as the _**light** _ sitting in the chair in front of his window.

(feels like the _**sun** _ is in the fucking room)

- _way it is **supposed** to **feel**_ -

(that doesn’t make _any_ fucking sense)

- _only because you don't **want** it to_ -

Kevin opens his mouth, and then closes it, as he has nothing to say. Not that he couldn’t come up with something if he **wanted** to, he just doesn’t really see how Sami’s... inane babbling could be responded to in an intelligent fashion.

- _right_ -

( **fuck you** )

He sits up, leaning over and gingerly picking the remote back up before relaxing back down again, sighing deeply and feeling very reluctant to start channel hopping again, for some reason.

- ** _some reason_** -

- ** _sure_** -

Kevin’s chest tightens when the bed dips down, the warmth invading his every sense. Despite the fact that not twenty four hours ago they were half naked and pummeling each other, this feels just as **_intense_** , even if the somewhat hysterical sensation only lasts for a moment.

He holds his breath and waits for his body to adjust to the resplendence, the heady sent of sunlight clogging his sinuses, even as he tries not to breath in.

It is a _funny thing_ , this **incessant urge** to **_burn_**.

Kevin wonders **why** he stays in **_the light,_** when it _sears_ him so.

- ** _forever_** -

(maybe)

Kevin squeezes the sheet in his hand, waiting until Sami is snuggling down in the scratchy cloth before flopping the sheets over the body next to him, feeling oddly glad that the material separating them only seems to magnify the warmth, not block him off from it.

Sami shifts around for a moment, shooting him uncertain looks that Kevin can see out of the corner of his eye. He ignores the glances, wordlessly reaching out and snatching the trashy novel on the bedside table.

(Ex has _literally_ the worst taste of literature in the fucking world)

Kevin’s arm brushes Sami shoulders as he grabs the book, so he just leaves his arm there, too lazy and tired from being up all night to move his sore muscles any more.

Sami doesn’t seem to mind, just freezing stock still for a moment before burrowing down into the touch with an eagerness that is-

“Go the fuck to sleep. You look like shit.”

“Okay, Kevin. Good night.”

**Author's Note:**

> Awkward social interactions. And sleeping together in a platonic (is anything they do in this series platonic? I mean come on now) way. My floof skills need some work. Or maybe these two just don't lend themselves to fluff very well. Yeah, I'm gonna go with me needing more practice, until proved wrong.
> 
> Still, in-character floof is fucking hard. And it never happens when I try to make it floofy. This wasn't even meant to be this sappy, it just kind of happened. Goddamn stealth floof -.-
> 
> Sort of obvious I think, but I dunno how well I'm getting with Kevin's obtuse-ness, so I guess I might as well bring it up? I think the bit at the end there makes it pretty apparent (yeah, your arm totally just happened to land there. sure) but Kevin is a majorly unreliable narrator. Like, super unreliable. And on top of that, he has a bad habit of blanking things out and/or signaling one thing, and then doing something completely different. It is hard to describe, if you have never seen bby!Steen and bby!Generico interact, but Steen used to do this thing, where he would pull Generico close, and then act appalled and disgusted when he got him in his arms. Now, I'm pretty sure that that was just two clumsy actors, unskillfully working out their roles in the wrestling world, but I figured that I might as well spin it into their cannon characters as best I could. Result? Awkward bby!Steen. Which, in my opinion, is right up there with Terrifying bby!Steen ;)
> 
> Anywhoo, hope you liked it and have a good week!


End file.
